| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2006|07:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | HOME-o | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | scared-faced. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tiffay - Mr. Mambo | ] | I have a WICKED headache that didn't go away after I finished pigging out. WTF. I can't figure it out. I think I'll take some of Smelly's ibuprofen and go lay down until it goes away. Also after hiking around the gorge trails at Buttermilk and Taughannock Falls, my knees are killing me. But overall, it was a fantastic day spent with thSPM.
out. |
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| news and stories |
[Jul. 10th, 2006|11:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my skanky trailer | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | rad as ever | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tiffany - Drop That Bomb | ] | OK all the stories are hurr.
Thurr is a live performance of the Danny (KILL 4 HIM) song in the mall. She does not quite have mall hair in the mall. WTF kid come on! But this should be regarded as "the goal" for you sillies out thurr:
(PGnyz Br3ath3 I am talking about ΓΌ.) |
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| FBC and OBC2 sightings |
[May. 4th, 2006|12:42 pm] |
Here was the eyesore outside in the trailer park around noon today:

He's selling a bunch of junk in his front yard, including some stuff that I gave TBC for free. Presumably he will use the money to buy a shirt. GROSS!!
He has a new friend, who I am calling "other brother creepy 2." I get the feeling this dude lives there now. Either that or he and FBC are just drinking buddies.
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| TBC NEWS!!! |
[Mar. 10th, 2006|12:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | rad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Peter Cetera - "Big Mistake" | ] | Dear stalkers,
If you didn't hear already, Tall Brother Creepy beat up Fat Brother Creepy last October and FBC kicked TBC out of "his" trailer and got a restraining order against him. TBC had no place to stay and was homeless for like 2 weeks. He came by my place and offered to take my car away for free because he figured I was too dumb to fix it myself. He also paraded around the trailer park asking everyone if they would let him stay at their places. Eventually some old dude let TBC stay with him. Dumbass...
Anyhoo, today I went to school and then had to COME BACK HOME BECAUSE I REALISED I HAD F*CKED UP MY HOMEWORK!!! Anyhoo, when I got off the bus, I saw TBC tinkering with HIS NEW CAR:


Yeah, that is actually his car. It has been sitting at the side of the road for at least a year and a half. I took pictures of it the day HANDSMAN moved my trailer into the park because I thought it was hilarious. The thing has HUGE rust holes!!! I think it's from 1970.
So I wonder if TBC actually paid $300 for this thing. I was under the impresssion he spent all his "income" (his social security / welfare / "disability" money) on cigarettes. The nice thing is - now that it is warm outside, TBC will hopefully fix his car and move out of the trailer park to some location where he can live rent-free (namely, his car). |
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| yeah right |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|12:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | rad as ever jeez | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tiffany - "All This Time" | ] | my sister wrote to me today and has this claim:
---------------
oh and in other news, i'm playing in the backup band of kanye west...you know, the rapper? he's playing at assembly hall here in 2 weeks and asked for "very beautiful and talented violinists" to play for him. i'm getting 400$ for the gig!!!!
---------------
anyone buy this??? I figured the Kanye West "instrumentalist" section consisted of basically an 808 machine jeez........
I have been to a Kanye West concert before and it involves like him and 10 thugs standing around on stage. Him rapping:
 one other dude singing:
 one dude pressing the "play" button on a tape:
 and the other guys standing around just looking cool.



 (The guy with the guitar wasn't actually playing it.) |
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| THE SPANDEX REVOLUTION!!! |
[Oct. 1st, 2005|10:44 pm] |
IT'S HAPPENING!!! Today I was in the dollar store and this butterhead chick was wearing BRIGHT PURPLE SPANDEX PANTS!!!!!!!
Then I went home and dicked around on the internet. And I discovered a bunch of fun dress codes - most of them for private grade schools, but then some other weird things..................
This Cornhell thing sucks. I am seriously thinking of transfering to Southwestern (Assembly of God) University. First, I looked at the page of student conduct and there were the usual things: no firearms, no drug paripernalia, no toaster ovens, etc, etc... but then it goes on to some more ridiculous things, like
$50-$250 fines for GOSSIPING, "Failure to properly check out of the dorm overnight," public displays of affection, dancing, R-rated movies, and "attending places where men/women are sexually exploited" (i.e. bars).
There is also this "campusing" deal, which "means that a student is confined to his/her room from 7:00 p.m. until 6:00 a.m." hem hem heh adlfkjasd;l jk ROTF!!!!! wtf?!?!? ?!?!?
Here is the DRESS CODE for women: Any classroom/chapel attire is acceptable, as well as knee-length shorts. Sleeveless apparel must run to the end of the shoulder and cut close to the arm. Spandex is not permitted.
........piss............
Well, there is also this fantastic page on housing regulations, in which it talks about how the curfew is like 10pm or midnight, and how you have to pay $$ if you're late. AND how if you want to go to your parents' house over the week-end and take some girl with you, you have to get all this silly "permission" from the parents and the dean and all this shizazzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
There is also the page on relationships, in which you are told that you are allowed "brief, discreet good-night kisses," but no "extended periods of heavy kissing."
-------------------
OKAY, so my question is like WHO WOULD GO TO THIS PLACE?!?!?!? The students there are seriously treated like 3rd graders, when you had to get a note from your parents if you wanted your dogg to ride home on the bus with you, when you had a bedtime at like 8:30, when you would get grounded ("campused") by your parents, etc....... Why would you WANT to go to a place where they would tell you all this crap you CAN'T do ??? Why not just do it if you want, and not do it if you don't want?????
-------------------
In other news, this dollar store skank is gonna need some help starting the spandex revolution, especially because of standard grade-school policies which say stuff like "Stretch Lycra, spandex or nylon tights, leotards, biker pants and biker shorts are considered to be undergarments and may be worn only as long as they are covered by outer garments."
WHAT???? UNDER-GARMENTS?!?!? nawwwwwwwwww........
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In other very sad news, tall brother creepy returned to the trailer park today with this HUGE U-haul full of his crap. I sat in my kitchen and shot pictures of him out the window. This turned out horribly. At first I wanted to take a picture of fat brother creepy out there - he's like 300+ pounds and walks around with NO SHIRT, but all I got was tall brother creepy.
Here he is walking behind the truck.
 Notice his outfit. This is the only outfit I have ever seen him wear.
Here he is inside the truck.
 These trucks are not easy to get into because they're a couple feet off the ground. You'd think with his spider bite and ice-slipping injuries, and all his tendons ripped, he would have trouble getting up there and hauling all this junk around. He was expecting to get $12 million for this loss of mobility. hmmmmmmmm he seemed to be manoeuvering just fine to me. Anyways, it looks like he's NOT getting his $12 million and he's just gonna live therre off fat brother creepy's section 8.
HOWEVER, we got this letter in the mail from the park owner saying that people have been complaining that some of the trailers/lots in the park look like sh*t, so he is considering forcing 5-10 people to MOVE THEIR NASTY ASS trailers out of the park!!! I'm reaalllly hoping he's considering deleting the brothers creepy trailer. It looks like crap but it's not the worst......... |
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| what up |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|12:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | about the same can't complain | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tiffany - "All This Time" | ] | Sup stalkers, beavises, mulletmen, etc.
I am doing my homework now. I don't have any stories except that it RAINED ALL DAY and thanks to fricken' DARYL not caulking my windows as he promised, I now have some nice damaged windowsills. Another thing to tear out and do again.
I skipped class today to do my homework. Classssssssic. I'm supposed to grade these 2 assignments for tomorrow but that's not gonna happen. Too much homework.
OH YEAH. The other day I discovered that there are some new Elton songs out therre!! For instance, this ``Ghetto Gospel'' with 2-Pac. I'm VERY impressed by this one because they mix 2-Pac's silly rap with the somewhat rare Elton song "Indian Sunset". That's classic 1971 garbage. Then there is this "Electicity" song which is classically BORING!!!!! Jeezuz Elton come on!! But the most exciting thing is that there is this "Captain Fantastic Deluxe" album which includes him basically playing down the Captain Fantastic album at some concert in 1975. I've been trying to score it off Kazaa etc but haven't got it yet.
I got sick of drinking coke all day so now I'm getting my WON drank on. This Molson stuff is disgusting. Why do we have it again???!??!!
ugh this is so boring. I'll go play with the homework again I guess.................... |
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| bogus survey dumbass |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|01:29 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | "TIPS" | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Cindy Lauper "All Through the Night" | ] |
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| PICTURES!!! |
[Sep. 17th, 2005|11:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | rad as hell | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Billy Joel's "All ABOOT Soul" | ] | sup beavises,
smelly kelly just showed me how to put pictures in this thing. so herre goes:
First, this is me last November, in my white trash front yard at my trailer's old site. Me and the previous owner had spent the previous weekend jacking the thing up off the cinderblocks and HANDSMAN came the next morning to haul it away!

Second, this is me in May, in my current white trash front yard. All that crap in the yard weighed over 3500 pounds but was only like 12 cubic yards, surpsingly......... I spent the next few hours putting it all in this dumpster. Look at all those garbage bags of "trailer trash"!!! Sadly, the vinyl siding makes it look much less skanky.......

Third, this is me, yesterday, getting my WON DRANK on and talking to my brother on the phone. No stories about that I guess.
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| MULLET MAN!!! |
[Sep. 16th, 2005|10:39 pm] |
dude,
we have new neighbours. one nasty dude with a WICKED MULLET, his nasty wife, and like 3 kids. and they have a 3 bedroom trailer. and the bedrooms are like 9x9 jeeez. anyways, they came by with all their crap today. which included all these beat up old couches and stuff...
AND THIS HUGE like 50 INCH TV SET!!!!!!!!! and i think they had somebody come and turn the cable on yesterday.
they are so desperate to have cable tv that they have it turned on even before they move in wtf??!??!!?!?
weird that they would invest so much money in their television "siggguation" but they cut corners on their haircuts.
isn't it also weird when your house has wheels but your car does not?????
me and smelly need fun people to play with us........ but since nobody wants to play we're just gonna get our drink on by ourselves. jeez.
laters beavises and stalkers. i'll maybe update this shizzle laterer when i'm drunk and stuff and things. |
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| thtories??? thongs??? |
[Sep. 8th, 2005|01:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | whatev | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tiffany - Hold an Old Friend's Hand | ] | OK I have like 4 good stories:
First of all, the tall brother creepy IS GONE!!!!!!!! This guy had been up to even more wacky activities since my last update. For instance, he tore all the skirting off the trailer he was living at, so now you look at it and you see all the cinderblocks underneath. I imagine he sold the skirting for cigarettes. Also, when he left, he took his van with him and left the fat brother creepy with this unlisenced green car. WTF?? I bet they stole it. Anyways, tall brother creepy left right around the time that he was supposed to have his spider bite settlement hearing, so maybe he was actually awarded $12 million. UNREAL!!! Anyhoo, me and Smelly are very pleased that he is gone, because he was just too sketchball!!!
Next, our next-door neighbour has this BF who decided like 2 weeks ago that he would fix the problem with the kitchen sink drain emptying onto the ground UNDER THE TRAILER!! He went out and bought all this insulation and PVC pipe, came home and tore off all the skirting, and then basically left everything out in the rain for WEEKS!! HAHA he even extracted this nasty old mattress from underneath and now that's just sitting outside also. groooooohhhhssssssssssssss!!
And in other news my car is going to hell. It stalled FIVE times yesterday on my way to and from school. And everytime it stalls, I have to wait like 15 minutes before it will start up again. I think I'll put the brick up on bricks in my front yard and try to fix it myself.
LAST STORY: I was watching E-LIMO-date last night and the boy on the show TOTALLY came from the stupid factory. All he did is make comments to try to get the girls to make out with him. Crap like "So, are any of you girls the type that will go for something when you see it?" This of course gets one of the hos to go at him. gross. This one girl was basically like "I don't make out with dudes who appear to come from the stupid factory until they can convince me they DIDN'T come from the stupid factory," at which point she basically got dropped. But basically half the girls on this show will make out with the dude, even though he invariably comes from the stupid factory ........ and even though he's N-O-T-H-O-T!! basically......basically.......
AND!!!! One of the girls made fun of another girl because it appeared that her clothes were "2 or 3 years old"!!!! hahahahdskfjalsdfjlk lkj!!! dumbass..... Speaking of which, almost all of my jeans are so old that they now have HUGE holes in the ass AND have paint/caulk/balls all over them. |
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| MONUMENTAL! |
[Sep. 1st, 2005|03:27 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dude i don't play music at like 3 am jeez | ] | stalkers,
something monumental has happened, and it's not "diddy" rapping with murphy lee and Nelly.
I HAVE FINISHED MY HOMEWORK BEFORE IT IS DUE. almost 7 hours before it is due.
WTF?!?!? and i even put it off until the night before. In fact, I procrastinated until like 11 pm by sanding this door frame, vacuuming for hours, doing 3 loads of dishes, doing the laundry, etc etc etc.
this homework is TOO EEEAZY. maybe giving me MORE PROBLEMS would be a better challenge for THE IZZINAATOR!!!
I have only turned in three assignments on time in graduate school: two final exam papers and one homework. And I only turned that homework in on time because I skipped class on the day the instructor said "oh you can have like an extra week to do this"
i guess i still have to get to class on time tomorrow for this to count as "handed in on time", but that should be doable if the bus isn't like 20 mintues late like it was today jeezus.
and now i'm gonna pass out for like 4 and a half hours. ut-oh!!! |
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| develoPPments god |
[Aug. 17th, 2005|12:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | rad as hell | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Billy Ocean - Carribean Queen | ] | OMG i just had to spill this story..... like 2 weeks ago, I was outside sawing some lumber and this dude from across the street rolls over and tries to talk to me. I KNOW this dude is mad sketchball because my "buddy" Daryl told me that he's strung out on pills all the time.
Anyhoo, this guy has no business talking to me.... he's like 40 years old and VERY tall, like 6'5". I'm not his "buddy" even. So he starts going on about how he:
1. pays his "fat lazy-ass partner" $46 a month to sublet a room from him 2. used to live in public housing in Ithaca, where he "got a SPIDER BITE, fell on the ice, and tore all the tendons" in his lower stomach 3. was just living in a "million dollar mansion" before coming to the trailer park to "help out his partner until his section 8 gets figured out" 4. is suing the Ithaca Housing Authourity for 12 MILLION DOLLARS over the spider bite incident, and his hearing is August 24th 5. sleeps in his van and his partner sleeps on the floor in the trailer 6. thinks his nasty 1992 van with 150,000 miles and panels of 3 different colours is worth $12 grand because of the stereo system he put in it 7. needs "to get some p*ssy really bad"
OKAY. Now for my remarks.
I can't believe he told me about #7. I guess I give random the dudes the impression that I'd be happy talking to them about that............. wight.
At least this dude will be GONE on August 24th, when he gets his settlement cheque............ WIGHT.
OHHHH!!!! I almost forgot to mention - in the middle of all this, the dude asks me if he can see my saw...... WTF?!?!?!? So I HELD ONTO THE THING as I showed him. I wasn't ready for any sort of Michael Myers incident jeez............
Me and Smelly are calling this dude and his partner "The Brothers Creepy". The tall dude talks to the fat dude at VERY LOUD VOLUME constantly from 7 am till 10 pm, with a nice mixture of expletives and regular words...........
ANYHOO Yesterday's story is that me and smelly went on a walk and saw smoke POURING out of the brothers creepy trailer. But they were inside and it smelled like barbecquing....... hahaha they must have been using an outdoor grill INSIDE!!! ack!!
okay well that's it okbye. |
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| hem hem hem |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|01:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | word | ] |
| [ | music |
| | no music doggs | ] | Hello stalkers,
Me and Smelly just got the cable TV and internet. And we have a phone too!! I think I have to go do stuff now so OKBYE! |
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| the evil returns, and lurks, and barfs |
[Jul. 17th, 2005|12:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | gross! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | i'm not listening to music yet thanks | ] | I got home from Montreal today and within ONE MINUTE of entering my parents' hoose i had STEPPED IN CAT BARF.
I was listening to the radio on the way back and I heard this song "Replay" by Rihanna. Supposedly all sorts of idiots "can't wait for her album to be released on August 15". Personally, I could wait forever....... ugh this song is soooo bloody dreadful........................
And I heard another garbage Gwen Stefani song and I decided I don't like her anymore. She needs to fire her songwriter. And I use the word "song" loosely. Or if she writes the songs then she needs to fire herself. But despite the fire she should try not to be burnt. Or dead.
Me and Brian and crew had our Wednesday July 13th party this past week. We were supposed to go play Elton's Yell Help/Wednesday Night/Ugly medley at his gramps but I ended up getting my WON drank on and losing to him in a sportstalk baseball tournament because he wasn't really drunk. Or maybe 'cause he's better than me at sportstalk. haha...... |
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| holla back boys |
[Jun. 18th, 2005|12:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | turd burgled | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mike Jones - "Back Then"..............ugh...... | ] | Okay. Just as most of us are beginning to agree on what a "tipdrill" is, MTV gives us something new to worry about:
WTF is a "holla back girl"????
The kids at the urban dictionary have several inconsistent ideas about this, so I still can't pin it down.
I guess I'm a little disappointed that Gwen Stefani has gone from "singing" "songs" to just yelling out stuff like "this is my shit, this is my shit, i ain't no holla back girl". But at least she can still spell "bananas" correctly, so that's nice.
Anyways, I kinda want to get with Gwen so I need to know whether she's attracted to holla back boys or NON-holla back boys. Ya'll let me know and then I'll adjust my style if neccessary. |
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| THE ANTS HAVE ARRIVED |
[May. 28th, 2005|06:48 pm] |
herrow,
i have arrived at my grandma's hoose after an 11.5-hour driving scandal, AND THE ANTS HAVE ARRIVED TOO!!!
looks like my grandma's extensive efforts to keep the ants out (garbage in the refrigerator) have been in vain... hem hem hem. she's still not allowing me to put garbage in the "trash can". i killed 3 ants today. of course i wasn't doing it right. she makes sure that i really "smoosh them in" so as to make SURE they are extra dead.
i got hassled for keeping the freezer door open while i was taking out an ice cube.
i got hassled for not putting the milk back in the refrigerator during my "milk inhalation" period this morning. if i'm gonna drink like 3 litres a day, i'm not gonna worry about leaving the jug out for 15 minutes herre and therre.
my uncle/aunt gave gramma this jeesus book. it says that you need to memorise verses of the bible because the only way to defeat satan is by quoting scripture. if you do not have any lines of scripture in memory, "you have no bullets in your gun". WIGHT.
me and my sister have to go shopping now. she's gonna make me HAPPY COOKIES!!!!! then we are going to have a sex and the city party ce soir with her doggggggggggs. |
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| ho ho hoe! |
[May. 25th, 2005|02:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | SWEEPY! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | for reals now | ] | Hello stalkers,
Today I had some adventures. First of all, I sublet my ROOM in my sh*tty collegetown-Ithaca apartment last November because the kids I was living with were TOO GRoHSSSS!!! On Sunday, the latest subtenant-dude left. And today I was expecting to "clean things up" in hopes of getting my security deposit back.
FORGET THAT dogg.......... it would take me WEEEKS to de-grease the cabinets, the stove, the floors, the tables, the carpets, etc, etc....... to de-piss the bathroom floor and walls....... to de-reek the whole place!!! I'm sick and tired of cleaning up my own messes, and I just didn't feel like embarking on cleaning up after these nasty slobs. So I'm basically not gonna get ANY of my $400 whatever security deposit back. I should go up to the damn tipdrill and be like "look you cost me $400 with your f*cking nasty habits, now pay up!"
...... by the way, one of the dudes therre expected me to help him pay for the cable tv bill. hahahahah!!! i didn't even know they ordered fricken cable tv jeeez.
I think collegetown is stressful and gross. 'nuff said. I also can NOT deal with living with other people!!!!!!
STORY #2: Today, my "buddy" Daryl (names have been changed as usual) came by to sell me these two windows he had gotten from Bargain Outlet. This was perfect because I bought all the windows they had left but needed two more! Along with Daryl was his cousin "Steve", who supposedly has two kids but looks like he's 18 years old himself. Anyhoo, Daryl says to me "Steve's getting ready to go into the army, ... AND YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT." And as he says this, he doesn't have a disgusted look on his face; Rather, he looks like he's getting ready to like fricken high-five or chest-bump Steve!!! At first I was like "ughhhh you idiot, what sort of fool would join the army", but then I quickly realised what was going on and I was like "oh rad totally rad, yeah the military is rad, rah rah rah". Jeesus things are different on the other side of the trailer park...............
STORY #3: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the napoleon dynamite movie. Especially how the Kip dude "chats with babes for hours" on the internet, and then meets this one girl finally, before she has sent him decent pictures of herself............... I have now started talking like Kip. No more homestaw wunner.
STORY #4: I'm in crotchester for like 24 hours, then I'm going out to illinois to deal with OCD grandmother. and OCD sister. Hopefully I'll do reaseeeahhhch. I'm bringing my sawzall but I'm sure the grandma will insist upon me cutting down huge bushes with blunt 40 year old shears while standing on rickety ladders near power lines. I gotta score the video camera back from nodnarB demaing. I also think I have accidentally let my assurance-auto expire, so i'll probbly have to deal with that somehow................
ok laters kids. |
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| summmmmmmmer breeeeeeeak!!! |
[May. 12th, 2005|09:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | i didn't bathe c'mataing... | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dude yeah right | ] | Hi kids,
I'm on SUUMMMMMMER BRRRRREAK!!! Okay I have some exciting new stories.
First of all, last Friday was the "derivative day" herre at Cornhell. I mean slope day jeesus. I attended some misogyny-in-rap meeting a few weeks ago, and I was supposed to get a free t-shirt saying "snoop you hot butt yo' lyrix are not", and I was supposed to wear it to the Snoop Dogg concert. Butt I never got the shirt. I wanted to videotape the concert butt I got hassled by the security guards. WTF is everybody so touchy about getting their azz videotaped???? Anyways, I only hung around for like 5 seconds, but it was enough to hear Snoop say "mother f*ck" easily 50 times.
One of the dudes at the misogyny-in-rap meeting is a professor of some African diaspora studies, and he believes that Snoop's spelling of the word "hoe" in the song "Can You Control Yo Hoe" is of some significance... I guess it makes it seem like he's referring to girls as (gardening) "hoe"s, and nobody would want to be called a "garden hoe." Wight........... This dude also made the comment that he is appalled that the educated students at Cornell actually INVITED the "proud-to-be-a-P.I.M.P" Snoop Dogg to perform at THEIR school. Ahhh yessss I think he's got something therre.
But I'm thinking Snoop probably can't differentiate between "ho" and "hoe", making his choice of spelling irrelevant. After all, he confuses "yo", "you're", "you", and "your" just like Nelly has confused "they", "their", "they're", and "therre".
Anyways, enough about the Snoop incident. I ended up NOT getting drunk on slope day, and just dicking around in my trailer! In other news, I bought myself a sawzall the other day. And I paid $50, not $500. This thing is hardcore. Now my jobs that would take YEARS with scissors and hand saws take MOMENTS with the sawzall!!!
My trailer has become a serious health hazard. Basically therre is shattered glass ALL over the floor, all over the lawn, and sharp metal edges hanging off of basically EVERYTHING. And I only have like 70 days until it has to be ready....... ut-hoe. |
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